


Take What You Want

by sniperct



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Femslash, Lesbian Character, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4465601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniperct/pseuds/sniperct
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You should take what you want, but Illyana only wants it if Kitty is willing to give it openly.  No more pretending, no more acting like there isn't something there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> This is naughtier than my usual. I'll go hide under a rock now.

Illyana had spend all day staring at Kitty. At first she’d been nursing a hangover, but now she was growing increasingly irritated. It was like the brunette didn’t _remember_. Sometimes it felt like Kitty had her head up her own ass. "You should take what you want."

“Huh?” Kitty had her burger halfway to her mouth, and she paused to look at her friend. “I wanted a cheeseburger, so I ordered one.”

“Tch.” Illyana leaned her face on her fist. Her eyes moved over Kitty’s face. “You said that, last night.” Maybe, for once, she could draw what she wanted to hear from Kitty.

“I was drunk. We were _both_ drunk. What does that even mean?”

“I was _not_ drunk. And you _know_ what it means.”

Laughing, Kitty pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Yana, I think have video…”

The blonde’s eyes widened in alarm, and she swiped for Kitty’s phone, but she was too slow. “ _Katya_.”

Kitty smirked at her, then waggled the phone in front of her. “It’s not _that_ embarrassing. You sing a little off key though.”

Illyana sank back into the booth, folding her arms and glaring at the brunette from under heavy brows. “Fine, mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you. It was kind of cute.”

“Do you even remember what happened next?” Quirking her eyebrows, Illyana picked up her drink, sipping it dourly as she waited for Kitty to respond.

“Vaguely. You were a pretty good kisser.”

Soda went down the wrong pipe and Illyana was certain she’d hacked up a lung before she recovered. She stared at Kitty with narrowed eyes, trying to decide if the woman was still making fun of her, or if she actually remembered. “We were drunk. It doesn’t count.”

Kitty’s eyes darted around, and she didn’t _quite_ look in Illyana’s direction. “Yeah… I guess it doesn’t.”

Appetite gone, Illyana pushed her food away and got out of the booth. She opened a portal and stepped onto a disc, but before she could teleport, Kitty threw a wad of cash onto the table and leapt onto her back.

The duo crashed onto Illyana’s bed. Grabbing Kitty by the shoulders, Illyana pushed her off and flipped her around. She pinned her to the bed. Anger and hurt made her voice shake. “You always do this _thing_ , Katya. You pretend that you do not feel how you feel. You don’t think about the things you say. You say things. They hurt me. You take me for _granted_!”

Kitty didn’t have anything to say. Illyana was having an emotion. Illyana was having _several_ emotions, more than Kitty had seen from her in years. What was there _to_ say, when her friend was right? For once she didn’t snark, or make a joke or light of the situation. She searched for words, Illyana’s nails digging into her shoulders, Illyana’s weight shifting as her legs settled into position on either side of Kitty’s hips. It suddenly got far too warm. “I’m sorry. I never…everything keeps changing. Things aren’t the same anymore. You’re not the same. I’m not the same. I never meant to say things that hurt you but that doesn’t excuse it.”

Lips thinning, Illyana’s blue eyes bore into Kitty’s brown ones. “I still feel. I know what it is like to lose my soul, but I still _feel_. You are my...Tch. Idiot.”

She hung her head, hair tickling Kitty’s face, before she sat up. “What am I doing? I am supposed to be _mad_ at you. How do you do this?”

“It’s my secondary mutation.” As if trying to keep Illyana from going anywhere, Kitty rested her hands on her legs. “We don’t get to do normal. We barely get to talk anymore, or even just hang out. Let alone other things. Alarms could go off at any time.” She rubbed her thumbs against the skin of Illyana’s thigh. “I make a lot of mistakes. Especially with the people I care about. But… Last night was nice. Today was nice and maybe…”

Their eyes met again, and Illyana leaned back down. Her arms were stretched out, her hands back on Kitty’s shoulders and while Illyana never begged or pleaded she almost screamed at Kitty to say _the thing_. To admit there was more than friendship, to tell her that there was something more behind their touches. She’d seen it, she’d seen it in Kitty’s eyes but she wanted to _hear_ it. She needed Kitty to be honesty and blunt. “Maybe what?” She rasped.

“Maybe we should take what we want.” And Kitty knew what that meant. It was, in a way, something she tried to live by. When attacks and bombings and near-death experiences were the norm, she had to take the little happies when she could. But this one. This one scared her.

“What do you _want_ , Katya?”

“You.”

A low growl rumbled in the back of Illyana’s throat. “ _You are joking._ ”

“Would I _really_ joke about this? We don’t get to be normal, Yana, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t _try_.”

“...no. You would not.” And just like that Illyana’s arms gave out. She caught herself, her face inches from Kitty’s. “We are not drunk. This counts.”

Kitty’s lips were soft and yielding. The sharp pain as Kitty’s fingers scratched down her thigh only really made Illyana’s control start to unravel. She felt her friend arch against her, heard the groan they shared and the last threads of her control threatened to shatter. 

Kitty’s eft hand threading into Illyana’s long blond hair. She cupped the back of her head and pulled her back down, kissing her hungrily. She kissed along Illyana’s jaw to her ear, nipping lightly here and there as she went. 

“ _Kat...Kitty…_ ” Illyana hissed the name.

She pulled her head back, flopping it on the pillow and looking up at Illyana. Yana’s face was flushed, and her mouth was just a little bit open. Both of her eyebrows disappeared into her bangs, and she tilted her head as if waiting for Kitty to say something.

Biting her lip, Kitty asked, “What do you want me to say? I want this. You. I’m yours.”

“ _Good_.” Illyana beamed. It was a smile that Kitty remembered only dimly. A smile that made her heart hurt and lift in joy at the same time. A reminder of when Illyana had been innocent and happy. 

Neither of the were innocent now. Neither of them were really all that happy either. They couldn’t go back to that time, to the people they’d been. Illyana had accepted who she was, and maybe Kitty had decided that she could too.

“You really wanted to hear me say it, didn’t you.” She traced a circle on Illyana’s leg, then slid her hand up and took a handful of the fabric of her top. She phased it right off of Illyana’s body and tossed it aside.

Shivering at the sudden contact from the air, Illyana nodded. “I was tired of guessing. Hoping. You give off very many conflicting signals.”

Fingers brushed so lightly along Illyana’s ribcage that Kitty might very well have been a ghost. “I was. Not about being attracted to you.” Kitty phased her shirt off, and Illyana threw it towards the closet. “But about if I should do anything about it. And then I’d meet someone and get my head in the clouds.”

“Or up your ass.”

Kitty rolled her eyes, then gasped as Illyana palmed her breasts. Her hands itched to return the favor and she was rewarded with a breathy sigh from Illyana. It was a sound that she never expected to hear from her and it made the heat in her stomach spread lower. “..I’m going to stop talking now.”

Lips curving into a brilliant smile, Illyana moved her mouth next to Kitty’s ear. She whispered something that turned the brunette’s face bright red and caused her to buck between Illyana’s legs.

“You like that. Noted. Now take your pants off.” Kitty didn’t need to know that she’d never actually _done_ this before, but she’d done reading. A lot of reading. And Illyana could fake confidence on those rare occasions when she wasn’t.

Kitty lifted her head, catching Illyana in an unsurprisingly demanding kiss. Illyana cupped her face, kissing her like they were running out of time. Knowing their lives, they probably were. To her delight, Kitty phased the rest of their clothing off. Maybe it lacked a little bit of romance, but to Illyana it was the hottest thing she’d ever experienced.

Skin against skin, Kitty’s arms wrapped around her, Illyana left a trail of marks down Kitty’s throat. She flicked her tongue out, circling a nipple, watching the change in expression on Kitty’s face and enjoying the strained sound that escaped her throat.

She paused, pillowing her cheek against Kitty’s breast, and stared at her. “Kitty?”

“Nnnyeah?” Kitty looked back. Illyana looked uncharacteristically vulnerable. “... You okay?”

“I love you.”

Sitting up, Kitty pulled Illyana closer. Illyana’s hips rocked against Kitty in a motion that was purely instinctual. Before she could reply, Illyana put a finger over her lips. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

She didn’t give Kitty much of a chance to protest. She slid one hand between them, teasingly caressing the skin of her thigh and the curve of her hip. Kitty squirmed and nibbled on Illyana’s lip. She was pushed suddenly back into the bed, one of Illyana’s hands on her breast and the fingers of the other doing maddening circles around her pelvis, stroking sensitive skin and following Kitty’s heat. Illyana kissed her insistently, grinding down against one of Kitty’s legs as she rubbed her finger in a figure eight.

“Oh..oh _fuck_...” Kitty tangled her fingers into Illyana’s hair, gasping into her mouth. She started to move her free hand down Illyana’s stomach, but the blonde grabbed her wrist and pinned it over Kitty’s head.

“No. I’m not done with you yet.” 

Tilting her head back, Kitty groaned out, “You can’t exactly hold me.”

“Mmm.” Illyana changed up the pressure and pattern of her fingers as she adapted to the unspoken signals from Kitty’s body. “But you _want_ me to.”

“ _God_ yes.” Losing herself, Kitty became aware of little more than moans and sounds and the feel of her skin writhing beneath Illyana’s. She didn’t point out Illyana’s lack of experience - she couldn’t really tell and even if she could, she didn’t _care_. Kitty felt like she was on fire and when the wave washed over her she shouted loud enough that Illyana had to kiss her in a hopeless attempt to muffle her.

“Shit…” Kitty said, laughing. “oh shit.. oh shit. Oh my god.”

The laughter was contagious, and Illyana pressed her cheek against Kitty’s until she could control herself. She’d forgotten what _real_ laughter felt like. Warm tears threatened to spill out and she blinked her eyes.

With a half laugh half sigh, Kitty breathed, “I think I saw Jesus.”

“I’m sorry?” Illyana lifted her head enough to look Kitty in the eyes. “Kitty, you’re Jewish.”

“I know.” She flashed a grin, and kissed Illyana’s chin, since it was the closest part of the Russian’s face to her lips. “You made me come hard enough to see someone else’s god.”

Illyana burst out laughing. An honest-to-god belly laugh as she flopped over onto her side next to Kitty. Kitty rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow, caressing at Illyana’s stomach as she laughed. Illyana caught her breath after a few more moments, and turned her head to look at Kitty. “No jokes about me acting human?”

“Nope.” Kitty kissed Illyana’s shoulder, then her bicep before moving over to her chest. She spent a full minute lavishing Illyana’s nipples with her mouth and tongue, before she lifted her head to look at the blonde with a languid expression. “Has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?” 

She had to think about that. “Not… like that.” Beautiful child, beautiful snowflake, that was something wholeheartedly different from the way Kitty was looking at her when she said the word.

“Well, you are.” 

It was enough to make Illyana blush for the first time. Not the kissing, or the touching, but Kitty calling her beautiful. 

Kitty smiled at her, before blowing a raspberry on her stomach. She trailed her fingers over Illyana’s abs and spent what seemed like an inordinate amount of time nibbling and stroking there. Illyana closed her eyes, enjoying how relaxing it felt, even when Kitty’s touch made her stomach twitch.

Her eyes snapped open when she felt Kitty kiss her thigh. She pushed herself up, looking down at Kitty. A confident smirk crossed Kitty’s face as she took in Illyana’s expression. Keeping her eyes on Illyana’s, Kitty gently nipped the spot she’d just kissed, then licked along the muscle that led up to her pelvis. 

Turned on by Kitty’s confidence, Illyana let her head fall back onto her pillow, murmuring Kitty’s name and throatily groaning several sentences in Russian that were _incredibly_ lewd. 

It turned into a contest, Kitty trying to make Illyana beg her to stop, Illyana refusing to plead. The feel of Illyana’s fingers in her hair, tugging and digging and kneading was fuel for Kitty’s enthusiasm. The more enthusiastic Kitty got, the harder it became for Illyana to think coherently until all she was capable of was rolling her hips against Kitty’s face and pushing her head down demandingly.

Like a tightly coiled spring snapping, Illyana quivered, shook and spasmed. Kitty patted Illyana’s belly, nuzzling her thigh with a cheek and watching her lover as she came down from her orgasm.

“Good… _god_.”

“I’m good, I don’t think I’m that good.” Disentangling herself from Illyana’s legs, Kitty sat up, stretching her arms over her head. Illyana barely had the energy to stare, but it wasn’t a view she wanted to miss. 

“You’ve done that...before.” Illyana pulled Kitty over, and the brunette wrapped her arms around her and snuggled in.

“Yeah.”

She just nodded, leaning her face into Kitty’s hair. She tried to soak up the moment, the feel of Kitty against her and how perfect they seemed to fit together. Tomorrow, everything would be different. Tomorrow she might have lost the best friend she ever had.

Kitty’s breath warmed her ear, and very, very faintly she heard the words, “I love you too.”

The sun offended Illyana when it came through the window the next morning. She hissed, lifting her arm to cover her eyes. Someone warm and soft pressed into her and she rolled her head. Kitty peeked at her, her lips brushing at her shoulder and her hair completely messed up from sex and sleep. Illyana groaned. “It should be illegal to be so adorable this early in the morning.”

“That’s my tertiary mutation.” Kitty’s fingers traced distracting patterns into Illyana’s hip. “Was this all you wanted? I mean..what does this make us? Do you want an us?”

Illyana absently and ineffectively tried to pet Kitty’s hair into submission. She wrinkled her nose. “I am not going to do the woobly romantic confession thing.”

“Then consider this my formally asking you out.” Kitty stole a quick kiss, then moved to straddle Illyana. She was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Illyana stared balefully at the door. “I am going to murder them.”

“No murdering.” Bouncing off the bed, Kitty ran to the door and phased her head through. Illyana watched as she leaned down through the door and then straightened. She turned around, struggling not to laugh as she held up a badly baked cake for Illyana to see. 

Written in frosting were the words _Congrats on the Sex_.


End file.
